Let me own my stuff, Bearblog!
In these last months, I've been feeling kinda weird about my online presence. Not in the "not liking what I show of myself" sense but more like "I crave personal connection", and I don't think like social media provides that anymore. Then through learning about Hugo and Neocities learned what the indie web was. Don't get me wrong: I'm 32, I've been on the Internet since I was about 5 or 6 and I lived what now everyone looks at with nostalgia, so that kinda stuff isn't alien to me.
I've been blogging since the mid 2000s and stopped maybe around mid 2010s, always for fun and never with a clear goal, just to talk about the stuff I liked the most, it being videogames, music or whatever fun thing I learnt that week. But then my love for video production got more serious and Youtube along with Twitter were my new home. It felt fitting, it was a more social space and the overall mood was great. But then algorithms went full in and everyone was looking for the new thing to get mad at. Not so much fun anymore.
Finally decided to start a blog again like I used to do: journaling and writing about whatever had my attention this week. And it's great! It's just that...
...It feels lonely.
I'm not even talking about constant dopamine hits from getting likes or whatever, nah. I'm not craving attention, but connection. There is no way to discover other people's blogs unless you deep dive in any search engine, and nobody is gonna be searching for your personal shit. I know I won't, because I don't really know what I want to read about. I like to read random stuff and sometimes something sticks on you; that's what keeps it fresh for me. And there's no way to find that in a Google search.
"Maybe I'm missing something, people must have this sorted out", I thought. Then I did those same searches, got into Reddit and took a look at r/blogging... And everyone is talking about SEO, blogging as a way to earn money, etc. Gosh, that was depressing. Not that it surprised me, after all Youtube subreddits are filled with the same kind of people: those who look at it as a way to get a quick buck and not a way to express themselves, but it still felt sad to me.
"B-But Bearblog has a discovery feed!"
Yup, that's right. But if we're talking about indie web, we're talking about taking ownership back. And an otherwise perfect platform for its simplicity, directness and sense of community, suddenly feels just like another Blogger no matter how much Herman insists that "this is built to last". I don't refuse to support its development, but I don't want to forcedly pay yet another subscription for something I have the means to selfhost.
Ironic because I'm posting this on Bearblog, I know. But there's still no selfhosted alternative where you keep ownership of your stuff while not feeling isolated. I'm not into Wordpress/Ghost/etc kind of blogging anymore, I like Bearblog's raw approach with markdown and crude styles. Thought I have, thought I can put into words without a feel to develop it until I'm not feeling it anymore. But as I have my own server, I own my movies, my music and my services, I also like owning my journal.
I know there must be a niche for people like me, I'm sure. And not gonna lie, I could develop it myself. AT Protocol seems a great fit for this kind of open blogging with a community behind and the possibility to selfhost your PDS (I've looked at micro.blog and similar ActivityPub federated services, though they look mostly focused on twitter-like posts, at least from outside), but I'm not sure there's so many people like me looking for this kind of service and I tend to fail at every project I work on, making it feel useless even before starting.
➡️ TL;DR: I miss social blogging and discovering people without relying on search engines. Bearblog could do that, but it doesn't let me own my blog and there is no actual alternative.